February 2012
27 posts
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on thinking of someone while in a relationship,
In the past few weeks, my life has suddenly become very full. I have never been the type of person scrambling to make time—I was always blessed with enough of it to go around and a little extra. But lately, my days are scheduled with activity and my notebooks are bulging from all the words I’m squeezing between the lines. Unexpectedly, I have found...
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really goddamn lucky to be with the person I’m with
goodnight
mywickedways asked: I would really like to submit to your zine. What do you look for when a picking submission? Are there any guidelines I should consider?
stomach knots, impending snow, endless responsibilities
i wish the words would always come out of me right
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“Writing is perhaps the closest thing I’ve got to religion, because its...”
– reading through old emails, goddamn sometimes
drawingsofdecember asked: Hey Rachel :) Ii was wondering how I might be able to contribute to the next zine. I'm about to order On The Cusp and would love to be featured in the next one.
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how many of you wanna buy my poorly written history zine???
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“unrealistic conceptions of real people”
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It is strange how many miles I’ve crossed...
consistently making messes I can’t clean up
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homesick for diner coffee and sleepy eyed conversations with old friends and the comfort of a clean living space and enough space on the bookshelf to contain all my books
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abcdefghijenna asked: I think you transcended something just then.
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It was so foggy out that night. I could barely see the road and the entire drive, I kept saying jumbled prayers under my breath around unfamiliar roads. We were in a grocery store parking lot. I had turned off the car, but forgot the lights. He climbed into my passenger seat and exhaled laughter. His friends were all inside, waiting. Killing time. I kept shaking, blaming it on the cold. C’mere,...
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There are so many things I want to write about and yet cannot. The way it feels to count the notches of your spine. Gestures a body makes in conversation. Quietness on the train rides home. My single stories. How I want to tell you all my bad parts but no longer in whispers. The ache of knowing. Kissing softly like heathens, like strangers.
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recently: handfuls of ugly words swarming around in my head with no place to put them
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sometimes I catch myself thinking about when you asked me if there was something going on between a. and i, how I shook my head though deep down there was a little buzz I’d been trying to ignore, and you told me “if there is, it is okay, I know it could be easier with someone close” but I replied “it’s you though, it has to be you, I’ve never had a...
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January 2012
17 posts
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Anonymous asked: What are you favorite books?
I keep forgetting to mention the part where I miss you.
on moving on,
today in class I was thinking about how after I read my letter form piece about long distance, my teacher asked me if the purpose of writing it was to end the relationship
and I said no too quickly and everyone nervously laughed and I wondered if that was how it sounded, not that I was embarking in a journey with someone filled with all the necessary parts to really be with someone, but rather...
“On a side note you can’t love without risk. Sometimes love is a terrible...”
– Steven Elliot, The Daily Rumpus
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(a month ago we ended “us” and things became quiet and I spent a few nights wondering how I could change an outcome I had accepted but not agreed with and a few more nights sleeping in the crook of someone’s arm who kept me warm and sometimes I would consider stretching the spaces but I made pacts in transit but tonight I heard your voice again and attempted small talk for the...
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ON THE CUSP ZINE →
I know I’ve mentioned it once or twice in the past few days, but I really want to extend to you all how much I’d like you to consider submitting to the ‘zine the Young Poets Club has been scheming for the past couple months.
There are some really fucking talented individuals floating around in the Tumblr universe. Some of them I’ve had conversations with, others I...
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Someone asked about you a few nights ago. We were sitting in a booth with another friend, sharing brief summaries of our lives over the past six months. The last time I sat across from her, in late July, I told her, with hope and uncertainty in my voice, how you’d returned with a proposition—asking for a second chance, for me to take the almighty risk and be with you. I was on the brink of saying...
December 2011
17 posts
I’m happy, you guys.
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Anonymous asked: If I write you emails everyday, would you read them? Or would they be annoying to you?
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the last night you were in chicago, i turned away from you for a moment and shook my head when you asked me what was wrong, i mumbled something about i am just scared how much I’ll miss you but I thought what I really wanted to say was I’m afraid of falling in love with you but now I think words that spelled out I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love you might have been...
note to self: if you spend 72 hours with someone then proceed to get on a plane to georgia, you are going to miss the hell out of them in ways that will make you feel irrational and needy.
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